Conveniently forgetting The Hollywood’s faults

Is it just me, or has fall been kind of spectacular in the movie department? The Departed. Borat. Casino Royale. Both Children of Men and Pan’s Labyrinth look grand, especially if you, like me, are a slut for Clive Owen, grotesquerie, and apocalyptic fairy tales.

The glut of goodness is particularly noticeable because the movie summer of 2005 was wretched. Sure, it came on the heels of 2006’s wham-bam-AWESOME, ma’am of Batman Begins and…um…so I can’t remember a single other movie that came out during the summer of 2005, but it seemed awesomer than 2006, cinematically speaking, which I now realize is probably because I was living in The Hollywood, and everything in The Hollywood just seems awesomer, and it is not until your plane is sailing high above Burbank that you realize the entire city is made up of cardboard castles on Botoxed clouds, and, despite this, you love it anyway.

I digress. I *do* remember seeing very bad movies this past summer, which is arguably worse than not remembering if I saw any movies at all. Superman Returns, for one, is a bad movie. It is, fanboys; I’m sorry. It just is. Pirates of the Caribbean? Slightly better, in that I recall being entertained (though not commensurate with the cost of my ticket), but the fact that it’s not a bad movie does not make it a good one. Cars was pretty but grossly unexceptional. Daily, I suppress the knowledge that, had I not spent actual money to see these three movies, that adorable pair of open-toed shoes crying piteously for me in Marshall’s may have been orphaned no longer.

But then The Hollywood spits out The Departed, and it’s wicked frickin’ good. And Borat, which, to be fair, surprised The Hollywood, though how anyone ever thought a movie with that much hairy male nudity was an unsafe bet is beyond me. And Casino Royale kicked ass. Like, really kicked ass–it lined the ass up, did a few practice kicks, took a moment for personal reflection, and punted the ass so far beyond the field goal it’s like the ass never existed.

Is this a harbinger of things to come? Will 2007 be another 1999 (a.k.a. the greatest year ever for movies, according to an old Entertainment Weekly that I remember totally agreeing with back in 1999)?

Don’t tease me, Mr. The Hollywood. A girl could get used to this.

HA! I remember another movie that came out during the summer of 2005: Star Wars! I legitimately forget the sub-title right now (Sith Happens, something like that?), but I think the almost-total lapse in memory from a kid who slept with a stuffed Ewok for the whole of 1984 is a fitting tribute to the final stages of Mr. Lucas’s revisionist career.



3 Responses to “Conveniently forgetting The Hollywood’s faults”

  1. J Says:

    Hee: Sith Happens! Love. But. . . may I express a contrary opinion? I actually think that Fall 2006 has kind of. . . sucked for movies. At least in comparison to Fall 2005. I mean, beyond the three you cited (two of which I also saw, and thoroughly enjoyed) and the two you are looking forward to seeing, what else is there (and also, I’ve heard that Children of Men might be meh)? Volver, but is that even in wide release? I think my main criteria for a good holiday movie season are as follows: 1) some Hollywood prestige pictures that I actually give a shit about (yes, I’m looking at you Dreamgirls, and you Pursuit of Happyness, and don’t even get me started on Apocalypto) 2) a few indies or arty type movies that actually look interesting rather than masturbatory (ummm, Soderbergh? Let me know when you’re back to working at 5 parts interesting to 1 part masturbatory, rather than the other way around) and, most important of all, 3) two or more movies to see with the parents that are neither too violent nor too infantalizing. Casino Royale worked very nicely for that over Thanksgiving, but we are at a loss for a Christmas movie this year. Which kind of. . . sucks. Maybe Letters from Iwo Jima? But that probably has a bit of the violent, eh? And not in the cartoony delicious naked-Daniel-Craig kind of way.

    I guess maybe last year just kind of rocked with the indies and pseudo indies. Capote, Brokeback, Syriana, A History of Violence, The Constant Gardener? Plus Good Night and Good Luck and Munich, both of which I still haven’t gotten around to seeing, and Pride and Prejudice, which I didn’t want to see but actually kind of rocked. And, okay, my parents and I enjoyed King Kong, our holiday movie last year. I am not ashamed. Add in some prestige pictures that I didn’t care about (Memoirs of a Geisha/Chronicles of Narnia) but would have seen for the pretty, and I have to give it up to Fall 2005 in any one-on-one competition. It would have rocked even harder if the Harry Potter movie had come out then instead of in the summer.

    Seriously, what the hell are they going to nominate for Best Picture this year? I suppose after last year’s travesty, they could just rename it “Middling Picture,” and then The Hollywood could proudly choose some crappy ensemble piece that supposedly speaks to Important Social Issues (oh, hi Babel!).

    (And ummm, maybe I should get my own damn blog instead of hijacking yours. Sorry!)

  2. Kate Racculia Says:

    J! Curse you and your infernal sense-making! Though I would argue that the fall movie season (as opposed to the holiday movie season, which, you’re right, is making me feel like The Hollywood is up to its old nefarious trickery and 2007 will not, in fact, be another 1999) was the anomalous good-movie season. But then again, perhaps we shouldn’t be celebrating the fact that The Hollywood is trying to make EVERY SINGLE QUARTER OF THE YEAR a time for big. event. MOVIES! Side note: oh my god, PLEASE co-opt my blog!! Because J rants are AWESOME. 🙂

  3. JFCC Says:

    I’m looking forward to Pan’s Labyrinth, but other than that, the only thing I’ve seen in the last four months is Casino Royale (which was good). Before that it was The Descent, which I also enjoyed. I wanted to see The Departed and Borat but never got around to it (plus my girlfriend resolutely refused to see Borat).

    Anyway…I’d say this fall was better than average for movies, but not necessarily a festival of quality. I’m looking forward to next year, though, what with 300, Spider-Man 3, Pirates of the Caribbean 3 (yeah, the second one was only okay, but I have high hopes for the third), Grindhouse, 28 Weeks Later…, Ocean’s Thirteen, Transformers, Fantastic Four: Rise of the Silver Surfer, Live Free or Die Hard, Evan Almighty, Shrek 3, and heck, even Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles. Yeah, I realize not all of those are destined to be classics, but still, 2007 is shaping up to the be the new 1989.

    And let’s not forget Primeval–another killer crocodile movie!

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