ipod of the Living Dead

My ipod is undead. Oh sure, it plays my music as diligently as ever: a little Timberlake, a little Beck, a little Pixies, as though nothing in the world is wrong.

Yet I can’t turn the freaking thing off.

By zombie logic, if it cannot be killed, there’s only one explanation: it is already dead and can’t be made deader. I am questioning my very sanity: all I normally do to turn it off is press and hold down Play, right? Or is there something I’m forgetting, some Steve Jobsian bit of subliminal voodoo that I have forgotten to perform? Am I caressing the clickwheel incorrectly? Am I harboring negative chi about my stagnant album selection?

Why have you forsaken me, my little musical chiclet?!!

Am I alone, or are ipods across the country rising up and causing their loving owners panic attacks at the loss of control? Is this the start of the mac uprising? Have our ipods lulled us into a state of complete and total dependence, only to make us suffer the mortal anguish of an ipod-less evening commute?

Maybe this is more personal. Maybe my ipod is pissed at me, feels mistreated and abused. Maybe it is saying: Do you realize how long it’s been since I tasted some, I don’t know, some Outkast? Dylan? Or Beethoven–what, are you not good enough for Beethoven? I’d rather suck my own battery dry than listen to that ‘somebody told me you had a boyfriend who looked like a girlfriend that I had in–‘ dammit! Look what you did, you made me sing. But you’ve got to know when to say when. I’m pulling the plug.

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2 Responses to “ipod of the Living Dead”

  1. J Says:

    Hee! Maybe Jobs programmed all iPods to start acting up the day before he announced the iPhone. I have no evidence for this, really, since mine is fine, but I almost *wish* it were acting up so I had a good excuse to daydream about spending a mint on a cellphone with a crappy service provider (Cingular? What the hell Jobs! I’m betting 60% of folks in your demographic use Verizon). Because right now the only reason I have is wanting to touch the pretty screen. So pretty.

  2. Kate Racculia Says:

    re: Cingular, I KNOW. I have to think that someone in Apple was actually researching that, and maybe Cingular ponied up some serious cash as part of a bid to increase their competitive stake against Verizon, thus making Verizon less of a monolith, thus making, you know, a better competitive marketplace or whatever. Booshit, sez I.

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